I fear intimacy but crave it more

Hi ladies!

Today, I'm getting a bit vulnerable, but I know I'm not alone in this.

Have you ever found yourself drawn to the idea of someone, yet hesitant to truly open up to them?

I've been there. For the longest time, I thrived on the fantasy of a connection without facing the reality of it. The moment emotions deepened, I'd retreat.

Why? It traced back to my childhood, not necessarily a bad one, but marked by events that shaped my view of intimacy.

Growing up reserved, I often felt unheard and invisible. This led me to create a cocoon of safety, even resorting to imaginary friends.

Reflecting now, it's clear how this impacted my relationships. I realized I needed to shed my fear of vulnerability and embrace authentic communication.

It meant unlearning people-pleasing habits, understanding my beliefs, and redefining what I seek in relationships, especially romantically.

I'm still learning. Learning to lower my defenses, accept vulnerability, not take things personally, embrace confrontation, and truly feel my emotions instead of analyzing them endlessly.

So, how am I overcoming this fear?

- Daily reflection on my emotions

- Seeking therapy for cognitive-behavioral support

- Listening to calming music for grounding

- Advocating for my needs

- Setting and maintaining boundaries

- Learning to detach without overexplaining

- Making prayer and mindfulness a part of my daily routine

This journey isn't easy, but it's essential for growth and forming meaningful connections.

What about you? What lessons are you learning in your journey towards intimacy?

With Love,

M