Stay Alert, Stay Safe. Dating Edition

Girl,

Let me tell you, when it comes to dating, I'm going to need you to be extra safe with these guys. Here's my go-to process before I even dip myself in the shower and attempt to put on my expensive makeup products (lol but seriously!)

During the texting/phone call phase, ASK questions!!

Do not get caught up in the appearance. Be bold and direct to ensure you are dating someone who aligns with your CORE.

Questions to Ask:

• What's your take on gender roles in relationships? (This gives you insight into whether he's a 50/50 type, and we do not do that!)

• Are you married/have you ever been married? (If you're on an app or social media overall, there are a lot of married men out there, so ASK!)

• Do you have kids/Do you want kids? (If the kids are under 5, it's a no-go for me… adjust to your discretion)

• Who's the closest person to you and why?

• Why did your last relationship end? (If it’s less than a year, don't even waste your time! This applies to divorced men as well)

Make sure you FaceTime the guy before you meet. This isn't a blind date, and as much as women catfish these men… chillleeee. FACETIME!

The Number & Background Lookup:

Make sure you do a background check with their phone number. I like to use a site called Fast Background Check. This lets me know everything: where he lived/lives, if he was or is married, and gives their full name.

Then, you can do a full name check via Google to see if they have been arrested, are going through a divorce, or have any legal stuff pending.

You want to make sure you are not dating a murderer, rapist, ex-con… you catch my drift.

The Meetup:

Always, and I mean always, drive yourself or have him offer an Uber Black Truck to pick you up. Now, if you go the Uber route, choose a location that is not close to your home. During the first few dates, you do not want these people to know where you live. Some are entitled and most are stalkers.

The Night Before & Day of the Date:

If that man does not provide confirmation the night before and the day of the date, stay your ass home. This indicates and tests his communication skills and will save you in the long haul.

Set Your Boundaries:

You're not a petting zoo, do not let that man touch you inappropriately or try to kiss you on the first few dates. These men will get fresh, moneyed or not. Nip it in the bud and let him know that you are not comfortable with that.

Now…

If you feel you cannot handle any of what I listed above or you are scared to speak up, do not date!!!!!! Dating requires boundaries and protecting yourself.

Think about it.

Your dream guy will never cross those boundaries and will be the gentleman that he was raised to be.

What is some awkward dating experience you’ve faced?

Reply to this thread.

Until next time, be safe out there.

xx M